An Expensive Kite

broken innards of the absent polytunnel

This was meant to be a very different entry. I had intended to discuss how exciting it was that we had finally got a polytunnel, the fun we had setting it up on a beautiful and rare sunny day here, and the weeks I spent working hard to cultivate greenery inside. Alas, this is not what I am writing about today. While the two of us did spend most of one of the best solar days of the year thus far building this utterly dreamy piece of equipment, and we did spend hours most days working inside it to start seeds and take care of what was already there, you are surely able to sense the foreshadowing given the photo.

One particularly windy day, DB and I arrived home from a bouldering session, about a month after building the polytunnel, to find that the entire thing, frame and plastic, had been pulled out of the ground, blown about ten metres across the field and subsequently into a hedge. Because we had weighed it down with growbags, shelves and pots, a number of these had broken, along with virtually all of the plants inside. It’s funny looking back because DB later said he watched my face as it changed from not having processed, but knowing something wasn’t quite right, and that the moment where my face changed as I fully realised what had happened was priceless.

We gathered the remains of the polytunnel, bundling them into the shed, and went about trying to salvage the plants. Some plants were salvageable, many were not, but most were a wait and see situation. We were lucky that none of our animals were hurt, and lucky that our car was gone, as it would have been directly in the path of not only the polytunnel, but the blown about, broken contents. Due to the wind, we had about 45 minutes later that evening where the wind had died down to get the polytunnel back up.

We thought it was windy everywhere, but a relative who lives down the road came to visit unexpectedly, shortly after we arrived home, and as one might imagine, asked what had happened to St Peter, why was there broken wood and ceramic everywhere, were we okay. As it turns out, the wind speeds at the hut are much more aggressive than other houses nearby due to the position of the field and angle of the hedges and trees.

I cried the way most people might cry if they had just heard about the death of a loved one, and can only describe the feeling as the analog equivalent of losing all the coursework you didn’t back up when your laptop shit itself. And similarly to such a situation, where you might mitigate future similar scenarios by learning to use version control, or bothering to buy an external hard drive, it has been a truly pivotal learning experience for us. There were many bits of metal that had entirely bent and snapped, and myriad warped bars too. I have since named the polytunnel Saint Peter (It’s holey), and the advice I would give anyone considering the purchase of a polytunnel, is to lock that shit down. Grow bags and tent pegs are not enough.

We have since secured the edges with breeze blocks and other heavy equipment, which have been working so far, and we appreciate our good fortune. We remind ourselves that this first year of truly throwing ourselves into growing things was all about making as many mistakes as we can as quickly as possible, in order to gain as much knowledge as we conceivably can in a brief window of time.

(aj) Aug 1, 2024